Tuesday, March 13, 2007

A calypso for the master

A friend of mine is going to the Carribbean for the World Cup. He wanted me to write a calypso so that he could put up a banner. I don't know if it even remotely resembles one, but, anyway, here goes:

Three slips and a gully;
Pacers seething under their sunscreen,
Find da out-of-shape cherry,
Smashed back over da sightscreen.

Spinners can weave their spin
Do their drift or bounce or turn
But they're bowling to da kingpin
He milk da gaps for runs.

Ya fielders can sit back, drink a rum
Or watch mastery over a pint o' beer,
Ma'an, bring out da pipes and drum,
His Majesty, Lord Tendulkar is here.

He is da master of leg breaks, they hushed,
And the zooter, the flipper -- he's Warney.
Lord Tendulkar danced down and smashed
And Warney look real corny!

Y'all sit back and drink a rum
Or swig a pint o' beer,
Ma'an, bring out da pipes and drum,
His Majesty, Lord Tendulkar is here.

"He's my target," coo McGrath
"I will out him," he boasted.
Mighty Lord Tendulkar's wrath
Had da pigeon roasted.

Y'all sit back and drink a rum
Or swig a pint o' beer,
Ma'an, bring out da pipes and drum,
His Majesty, Lord Tendulkar is here.

"Fell him with pace, I can."
"I'm da fastest," say Shoaib Akthar.
When da ball sail over third-man,
He look like B-grade actor.

Y'all sit back and drink a rum
Or swig a pint o' beer,
Ma'an, bring out da pipes and drum,
His Majesty, Lord Tendulkar is here.

"I find a chink in his armour,"
Proclaim foolish Andy Caddick.
He was send out of da deep-midwicket stand
To look for da ball and his... trick!

Y'all sit back and drink a rum
Or swig a pint o' beer,
Ma'an, bring out da pipes and drum,
His Majesty, Lord Tendulkar is here.

And then the silly Olonga
He bowl an irreverent bouncah
The next time Lord Tendulka'
Make him fall Oblonga!

Da Don, da King and da Prince
Will all sit back, drink a rum,
Or watch mastery over a pint o' beer,
Ma'an, bring out da pipes and drum,
His Majesty, Lord Tendulkar is here!

-- Lord Imitator